Baltasar, Take Your Flowers, Verbal Jiujitsu, and Other End of Year Gems No One Asked For
Let me go and be coming.
The strange thing about writing Fashi Mindset is that I actually have stuff to write about every Sunday. The wahala is actually sitting down in my spaceship pilot chair, stretching my arms, and banging the damn thing out. My last piece was almost seven weeks ago. Feels like two years ago. Well, I had to drop one more at least before the year ends.
So, how body?
I am just going to riff here, drop some of my patented unasked for rants and un-advice that the world never asked for and will always get. I’ll even pull from some of my Fashis on WhatsApp, so they don’t feel like no one wants to give them love as they just stand there looking around like “Ah, Chidi…where is everybody?”.
Oya, let’s go.
First, there’s this podcaster that likes to say “Nothing is ever as good, or as bad as it seems”. Ok, we have heard you, sir.
But, honestly, sometimes...it is.
If you want to find some of the best quotes, go to TV shows and movies. I promise you some of them will have you hit pause and pour yourself a hard one and sit in silence for two hours. In the dark. By yourself.
Here’s a good one from the spy show Slow Horses, when a character was accused of bickering, and his response—”I don’t bicker, I do judo with words.” Yes. YES!
I am a Naija guy, and I practice a particular version of a skill Nigerians like to think we are known for—verbal jiujitsu. So it makes sense that there’s an abundance of question marks at the end of my sentences and comments when I am doing the dialogue thing. And it’s hard for someone to say something hardcore around me that won’t get serious query from me. For instance, with my teenage daughters, I prosecute “the case” with extreme prejudice when they are making an argument. Or share a hard opinion. It can be tough. The goal is not to shoot them down, or make them feel wrong. The goal is for them to be ready for push back, be able to make clear and unassailable points, defend their position, and better yet, concede when it is clear they are not on point.
Because there are chaos monkeys and trolls waiting outside who are more prone to spoken violence than I am in the safe space of this cozy home. Be ready for the BS, señoritas.
Coaching 101, ladies and gents.
Of course, I have to drop a Denzel. Goes without saying. Today’s serving—“If they see you for free all week, they won’t pay to see you on the weekend. I don’t tweet. I don’t have Instagram. I embrace my inner analog.”
My sister, my brother, forget posting…I barely even record videos or take pics these days. There could be drunk aliens in the club twerking to Amapiano…phone stays in the pocket. I mean, ask Baltasar how that phone camera recording thing worked out for him.
But wait, it seems things are actually looking up for the guy o. This is 2024, ladies and gentlemen. We are in the upside down. Hm.
If you don’t know who, what, or why Baltasar is…Merry Xmas.
In all seriousness, maintaining an air of mystery for me is primarily about minding my own business. Staying in my lane, and doing what needs to be done. I’ve been accused of coming across as aloof, arrogant even, not picking up the phone and calling as much as I could. It’s not personal. That’s just Chidi minding his business.
And…the best medicine for being ghosted is ghosting back. Fashi the pretenses with a vengeance.
And…it’s not personal.
Ok, maybe it is.
It is.
As you download the latest update to your PersonalOS, remember this key entry—you want everyone to know your name, but not your face. There’s just something that pops about your badass rep, more so than your fame. Make una take fame, i’ll take a kickass name.
I had a Baltasar joke in there, but let me come and be going.
Lots of folks reflecting on their work and their jobs at this time of the year. And all this attention you pay to your job…I don’t know. Remember this—your job is just a feature, like the Balenciegos on your feet. Your career is the product…as in the badass wearing the Balenciegos.
Speaking of badassery…please if you deserve flowers, take them. I didn’t say get them. Take them. They’re yours.
And when folks give you your flowers for stuff you did or do, please don’t give them wahala. And stop pretending like it’s nothing. Take a bow abeg, and show gratitude of course. As Damon Wayans says, “does a woman ever get tired of being told she's beautiful? Never, right?"
Never. Take your damn flowers. And smell the hell out of them well well.
Let me close out by sharing a thing I wrote called Chidi’s Prayer. Maybe it will resonate, maybe it won’t. No matter.
This morning I pray for the strength and fortitude to do the work, my work, to carry thru the day, and be effective, and efficient.
I pray for thoughtfulness and clarity to make good decisions, to do the right things.
I pray for resilience that helps me power thru the inevitable little and big adversities.
And the wisdom and even-keel to weather thru the sought after big wins and prosperities.
I pray for guidance and courage as I navigate the inevitable and the unexpected.
Amen.
Have a wonderful Christmas.