Small Losses, Hope Is Not Enough...
...and more Chidi-isms that you didn't ask for this Sunday
August 10th and the year 2025 is running with the alacrity of someone who owes someone a lot of something. Ah-ah! Wasn’t it just three hours ago that we were reading (and not buying) the exploits of the Detty December crew in their January InstaToks? Next thing I know, we deposited the Numero 1A and 1B back at school for the fall semester, and Numero Tres is already in week two as an 11th grader, scattering my entire schedule and summer of peace.
Adulting is not for everyone. Adult at your peril.
So, how goes it on your end? I know I ask these questions, and then I get some answers, and then I say, “Wait, he actually wrote a response? What am I supposed to do now? Respond? Ah, I lost all my energy writing the Fashi!”. And then I get ghosted for not responding, and then I ghost the person for ghosting me, and then it’s ghosting all over the place. And then we don’t remember who or why we are ghosting in the first place.
Please, I appreciate the responses big time. Really. They mean a lot. And it’s on me if I didn’t respond back. At least you have that over me, so collect well well when you get the chance.
Today’s Fashi is just a collection of thought drops that I collected over the week, most of them came in the shower, so they may have some additional scrubbing to do, but hey, if they hit…then they hit. If not, then they didn’t. And we keep moving.
Let’s go!
I find myself receiving many requests to mentor young people, and I don’t take this trivially. If you ask me my mission, it is to activate and unleash people. And so teaching and coaching are my things. However, mentoring is tough. It is hard to just become a mentor. I feel it has to develop naturally…a convo here, a hardship there, a small win here, and…wait o, are you officially my mentee? Ok. But I will say only 99.98% of the mentor requests I have received have borne fruit. Because mentorship comes with a lot of truthing. And many can’t handle the truth. Reminds me of this quote by philosopher Robert Pirsig:
“The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth,’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.”
Me? Not puzzled, please.
Speaking of small wins, what about small losses? We talk aplenty about small wins, but nobody wants to talk about the flip side. Small losses—the microaggressions, small hits, the slights, the non-wins that sneak up on you. Small losses are like jabs in boxing…they don’t knock you out, but they rock you one at a time…set you up for the big upper cut or wicked hook that does knock you out.
Small wins are a dominant routine in the ChidiOS. I stopped chasing the big epic wins long time ago, and instead focused on racking up the little gets. One little get here, one little get there. Small wins keep you present. Focused. Not in the clouds. Be where your feet are. The more you rack them up, the more they compound, and before you know it, boom. Small losses play by the same rules, different wahala though. They compound just like small wins do, except they're dragging you in the wrong direction. And if you're not careful, before you know it…BIG BOOM!
So, with small wins, chase them down and make them count. With small losses, you get into offensive defense mode. Mitigate, mitigate, mitigate…don’t let them compound. Flip them, neutralize them asapishly. It's your call on what you let on your W&L statement.
Don’t say I didn’t tell you. Hmm.
I’m in the middle of programming a major conference in Kigali for October, and I am shaking my head getting speakers on stage because how did things get so freaking transactional? You say you love doing something, it is “get paid at all costs” when you are approached to do that something. You love building the product community in Africa, yet you want a $7.5K honorarium (“Chidi, I discounted this 30% for you since this is near and dear to my heart”), business class travel (with the butler, not that riff-raff stuff), and the President’s suite at the Marriott. Ah, sorry ma…we just wanted you to do what you declare you love to do over and over on LinkedIn.
Not every minute of your life needs to be monetized, walahi. Your hobbies or things you love to do don’t always need to be making money for you. There should be opportunities for just doing, loving it, and not looking for that cha-ching to light up your bank account for every iota of your time.
That’s just me. Let me drink my tea-less tea abeg.
And when they have an agent or representative…story don end be dat. Do you know how many killer opportunities agents have ruined or neglected for their speaker clients, all for the sake of money? Me I don’t want agent…just talk to me on Whatsapp and I’ll be like Kevin De Bruyne and negotiate my $15K a minute fee.
“Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life”. I call BS. Here's the Fashi version:
Do what you can. Work with your real circumstances and resources. Reality is reality.
Do what you like. Factor in your preferences, but don't make it everything. Like is doable. Love? As Aunty Tina said, what’s love got to do with it?
Do what you do. You have expertise…use and exploit the hell out of the routines and sub-routines you have mastered and honed into your superpower.
Do what works. You know what has gotten you results. Lather, rinse, and repeat.
I saw this on my WhatsApp feed this morning:
Mba o. No. Incomplete. Inaccurate. I do not concur. Does not compute. Payment not accepted.
How can hope be the only thing you carry your entire life? Don’t mind Barack Obama o, hope is not enough, as America is finding out very painfully these days. While the sentiment is uplifting, maybe even inspiring, hope in isolation can put you in static mode, you get comfortable with the status quo, and hope is most likely to spin you into analysis paralysis if you are not careful. Ok, come…let us add courage and fortitude into the stew, and then stir slowly but surely:
Start with Hope as your north star— the vision, the belief that a better reality exists. That way you don’t surrender when the wahala is wahala’ing.
Add a significant amount of Courage—now we cooking….we are action-oriented. There is motion, you are willing and able to step into uncertainty, risk, discomfort to chase down that vision. And make it real.
Enh-heh. Ok, now garnish with Fortitude—as in endurance. Load up on the mental and emotional resilience that will keep you pushing thru the current wahala.
Oya, now taste it. See? Much better.
Have a wonderful Sunday. Until next time.
Love it! But hey, what's love got to do with it, right?! 😁