Stay in Your Lane, The Farce of Multi-Tasking, Plus Other Fashis and Quotes No One Asked For

Stay in your lane, Traffic is Non-existent on your side of the road

To those who celebrate…Happy Easter to you. To those who don’t? Happy Easter.

So why am I typing on the typeboard today when I should be off the grid on this day? I want to write, please. Lots churning on the brain, so why not drop some unwanted and unsolicited thoughts on the unsuspecting? Indulge me, abeg.

This Fashi's soundscape is being provided by Jay-Z, the track is “A Million And One Questions.”

Let’s go!

1. I had to do some serious coaching earlier this month. A mentee/mentor (yes this is a thing) who was handing out derriere whuppings (aka kicking ass) at Google was part of the recent company layoffs. Now, prior to the exit, she would say “I love the work, but I am tired, Chidi”. Of course, we talked the usual tropes—more sleep, she time, don't take the phone to bed, yada yada yada. Her tiredness stayed the same. Calls me one Friday, quite upset. She was let go. We talk, I probe Chidi style. She was unmoored, not sure what to do. I asked about the package. Nine months’ salary, plus the 60 days. 6 months of healthcare. Woman...wait you are telling me the first thing not on your mind is to take the next couple of months and change and just turn let the engine idle if not tuned off for a bit? Ah-ah, lay off for goodness sakes.

2. One of the most irritating things you can say to me is that you are a multi-tasker. This means thou art lost, and thou lacketh focus. I will never hire a person who prides in being a multi-tasker. Say no. Stay on mission, on task. No such thing as a multi-tasker. Busy body? Yes.

3. As Jim Barksdale says, the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing.

4. The Rwandan people are commemorating for the 29th time, the Genocide of the Tutsi in 1994. I have gotten to know Rwanda and the people quite well, and let me tell you…the “reboot” of a country the way Rwanda has done it, is a masterclass. Much respect. And much love.

5. Thievery is good. Stealing is creativity. Show me a successful person who is not a master thief, a burglar of ideas, a copy master. No such thing as a unique thought—"Theft is the engine of progress, and should be encouraged, even celebrated, provided the stolen idea has been advanced in some way."A rock star named Nick Cave dropped this in his Red Hand Files newsletter. He says all art is mutation and transformation. I say everything is mutation and transformation. CTRL-C all you want, baby!!

6. Truth bomb (see below). I mean…when I tell folks I say this to myself as I am brushing my teeth in the morning, they think I am certified. I don’t beat myself up or berate myself down. I just affirm to Chidi that…bruh, no one’s putting you up on a pedestal, so don’t look for one to sit on. Liberating.

   

7. I was in the mountains last week for spring break. If you want a reminder of how small a part you play in this world, go chill out in the mountains. If you are not reminded, then your wahala is different. As in special wahala.

8. You have only 1 birthday, the rest are congratulations for surviving. I shared this with someone who just celebrated his bday on a Whatsapp group, and many are still arguing with themselves about why Chidi is being morbid on there. Where is the lie, eh? Where?

9. Folks in the military like to remind themselves that we don’t rise up to the occasion, we fall back to the level of our training. In sports too. So, essentially when situations present themselves, whatever prep or training we did is what kicks in. Not some sudden blast of courage or heavenly force. And that’s why many folks who talk a good game fold like a burrito in the face of adversity because they were not ready.

10. There’s this Naija dance called Legwork. I attempted to learn how to do it a couple of weeks, and my knees have been sending me hate mail ever since. The mind was willing (and in denial), the body was on a different planet. The GenX pandemic is that we are about to repeat Boomers’ madness of trying to act our children’s ages. Legwork is for people who don’t have life insurance, abeg.

11. Speaking of janky knees, Shaw’s quote that we don’t stop playing because we got old, we get old because we stopped playing…man that thing has me shook o. And now I am here wondering what kind of playing I need to be restarting asapishly.

12. Of course, it is quite dangerous to take cues from someone playing a different game than the one you are playing. Stay in your lane, there is no traffic on your side.

13. Speaking of GenXers, in 1997 a rapper on his second album noted that folks were asking themselves “Is he ever going to fall off?” His answer? No. And this was just his 2nd album? Twenty-six years later, clearly, Jay-Z was inevitable. That kind of confidence is crazy.

14. Try again. Fail again. Fail better and try again. I wrote that for me. You can jump on it too if you want.

15. Same energy.

    

16. I want to be financially unbreakable. That’s it. Not be a baller. Not own a jet. Not have unlimited cash. Or even lots of it. Not materially wealthy. I just aspire to freaking financial unbreakability. Yes, argue with me on this. I won’t argue with you, though.

Alrighty o. I greet una. See you on the other side.