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A Mid-Spring Night Stream of Rants

Sometimes A Brother Doesn't Feel Like Writing An Essay

Chidi Afulezi
Chidi Afulezi
3 min read
A Mid-Spring Night Stream of Rants

Sometimes A Brother Doesn't Feel Like Writing An Essay

And I figure folks don't feel like reading one. So I'll keep this ranty. Let's rant, baby!!

  1. First, Coming 2 America was awesome. Period. I said P-E-R-I-O-D. With a D.
  2. How did Rick Ross get so loaded that his house was the Kingdom of Zamunda? Nna, see case o! Was it that time he visited Nigeria? Is that when it happened? What's he losing weight for? He owns the Kingdom of Zamunda for Peach's sakes!
  3. Then I paid $30 for Raya and The Last Dragon on Disney Plus. For the kids? Hell no! For me. Worth every damn rune and dragon dust that I paid for that masterpiece.
  4. Ok, do Africa. No animals. No humans turning into animals. Ok, maybe animals but humans must be 95% of the cast. Magic is fine.
  5. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. That woman is definitely a Last Dragon, and must be protected.
  6. Someone wrote this to me as a nudge for more Fashis: "Chidi, Chidi, Chidi...can't you see? Sometime's your words just hypnotize me. And I just love your Fashi ways ah." Please, don't stop. Sing it again.
  7. Ok, nobody wrote that. I wrote it to myself. Sometime you have to gas yourself. Especially when external gas is not common. And I will find a way to t-shirt that bad boy too (side-eyeing Zain).
  8. Hypnotize beat is now the soundtrack to this post. Unh. Unh. C'mon. Sicka than your average...
  9. I have watched the Harry and Meghan interview numerous times. For the bombs they dropped? Please. No. Those folks can take care of themselves. What I was doing was taking notes from Oprah, and how she got those two insurgents burning bridges and palaces with extreme prejudice and no cares in the world. She made no statements. Did not insert herself into the drama. Questions were short and on point. Probing. She went there, and then over there, and then thataways. Skills.
  10. Glad I didn't launch that interview podcast yet. You're not ready, Chidi, said Oprah.
  11. Do you find yourself doing that? Taking advice from folks who don't know you and will probably never come three lifetimes close to ever know you? I remember slacking off on something, and Kobe was giving me the side-eye. Loser, he said. Even today I was struggling to get myself to write, and Stephen King was standing there, just staring at me with those eyes, shaking his head.
  12. See what I did there? Stephen King. Standing. The Stand. No? Ok, sorry, ma.
  13. The pandemic was the big reset. For those who were moving a hundred miles an hour, time to chill and let the world catch up to you. For those a step behind, and not quite ready to pull the trigger on that dream or unlived life, the world slowed down enough for you to catch up. These are good things.
  14. Control. Alt. Delete. Reset.
  15. A quote that I use a lot but never speak aloud: "I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed." Shakespeare.
  16. Actually, I have said it in other ways. Like "That's interesting." Or "Let me call you back."
  17. I remember discussing winning the $1B lottery with some folks I respect. Everyone except me said they would gladly take the money, and would handle it well. I don't know. The way Harry and Meghan and Tyler Perry kept talking about security, and titles, and mental health...having money sounds costly, man.
  18. I'll like to test myself first with $1M first, then we'll see. Two things are needed: Chidi and $1M. We already have fifty percent of the requirements. The other wa o.
  19. Bill Murray: "I always want to say to people who want to be rich and famous—try being rich first. See if that doesn't cover it.". Got it. Now about that being rich part, the passcode is not working for me, Bill.
  20. Speaking of rich, I was talking to my Dad the other day, a man who has lived a wonderful and very rich life (in experience, not King Jaffe Joffer rich before people start calling me now), and I was barking about something that someone did that really was not worth barking about. The Dude quietly said, "Chidi you need a little bit more water to dilute the salt in your message." Wow. I mean...only an Igbo man can talk like that. I am an Igbo man. I don't talk like that. I told The Dude to repeat it so I can steal it.
  21. You know, I gave you all the wrong Twitter address. That might explain the two follows I got. Probably not. Wetin man go do. Anyways...this is the correct one o, just in case.
  22. Ok, I ended up writing an essay. As I promised not to. Good job, says a former leader of western civilization currently on exile away from his tower in NYC who also struggles with the truth.

Alright, as the faux Britico Americo Frencho accented folks in Lagos like to say their goodbyes...Chow!

Fashi Mindset by Chidi Afulezi